And Time Again
by cecelebron5
Summary: After letting him go for Makoto, Rin finds himself comforting Haru after they're break up. Can he hold his feelings inside while Haru tries to cope? Rated M for sexual content and language later on in the story.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! This takes place after they all completed college. So they are about 24-25. Rin is in Australia.

Enjoy!

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I remember that day clearly; it was raining heavily, which is weird in Australia. I was in my room getting my things ready for the next day. It was already late…

As I was putting my swimsuit in my duffle bag on my desk I heard a loud series of bangs at my door. I jumped slightly at the sound. I wonder who is that is at this hour? As I started to walk out of my room my phone rang I grabbed it without looking at it knowing who it was by the ringtone. I headed to the door picking up the phone.

"Hey Haru, hold up a second, someone is at my door."

"Rin, I'm-"

I quickly opened the door and froze. He was drenched in rain, he was holding one bag in his hand and another on his shoulder. His eyes were red and his clothes looked worn out.

"H-Haru?" He seemed off, he looked away from my sight. He was gripping his bag pretty hard, shaking a bit. "You can hang up now." He said slowly removing the phone from his ear. I suddenly realized it was raining and I pulled him inside.

"W-What are you doing here? How did you get here Haru?" I grabbed his bags and placed them at the entrance. I was looking everywhere frantically. Sudden a cold hand gently grabbed my wrist. Haru was looking at me, he was going to say something.

"I'm tired. Can I sleep?" He was almost pouting. That wasn't what I expected him to say as if he wants to say more. How can I say no to that? I nod and run to my closet to grab a towel. "Go shower." He nods and goes into the bathroom. I have so many questions. He looks super off, I shouldn't ask.

After he showered I was in the kitchen heating up the leftover takeout I had earlier. "Are you hungry?" I turned to him, he nodded slightly and sat inside my living room. I gave him his plate and sat on the other side of the couch. I looked around, almost feeling nervous. "D-Do you wanna watch TV?"

"No, I'm guessing you have a lot of questions right now." He put his plate down and stared at his hands fidgeting with each other. "You don't have to tell me anything now. I do want to know but you don't have to say anything." _Suddenly I remembered something._ "Should I call Makoto?" I got up quickly to get my phone from the kitchen. _I almost forgot about that._

"N-No!" Haru shouted. By the time I turned around he was already behind me. "B-But you should really let him know where you are, he'll be worried." Haru grabbed my arm stopping me. "We aren't…"

Huh?

"Makoto and I broke up!"

 _I forgot they were dating…_

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Wow, I hope you guys liked it so far! I will post a new chapter every Monday. I will also make one visual per chapter and I will post them on my deviantart acrylicaswater!

Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

We were sitting on the floor of my bedroom. Even after showering, I could still see bruises and minor cuts throughout his body. Something bad happened, and I don't think I want to hear about it. But deep down there's a silent anger burning inside. What could have been so bad that Haru had to leave home to take a plane to see me? He could of went to Nagisa or Rei!

"Makoto isn't what you think he is…" That's how he started. "What do you mean?" I glanced at him, watching his eyes trace to mines. He hesitated before speaking again. "He had problems, he had possessive traits, he was aggressive." Haru looked away from me, he was ashamed. "Did he hurt you?" My voice was surprisingly deep, husky. Was I angry? He didn't say anything. Of course, I'm angry. "Yes, he did."

Stop.

"Emotionally,"

Stop.

"...physically,"

Please.

"...and sexually."

I snapped at that last one. I looked straight at him. Makoto? A Sadist? "How long has this been going on, Haru?" He moved to where the bed was at and leaned his back against it. "Well, we've only been dating for a year. He was always aggressive and possessive when we were alone. I guess when we started to live together he started acting weird. He had a box in our closet that he never let me open it until one night. He seemed fed up with me asking about it. When I opened it, there were all sorts of toys, ropes, tape, and clothes. I was really scared at that point, but he told me he won't use them unless I wanted to." Haru is surprisingly calm while talking about this and it's almost scaring me, but then again Haru doesn't have the slightest emotion about anything. But then again… this is a serious issue.

"One night, he said that it was a special night. I didn't know what he was talking about and it seemed like something I should've known. It wasn't his birthday nor mines. It was our one year anniversary. After dinner I went to wash up and get ready for bed, I went to the kitchen to get him and he turned around with a smile and offered me some wine. I apologized and he said it was okay, he said at least drink this with him. So I did." His voice cracked a little. "Little did I know, it was drugged." No… He would. "What? Makoto drugged you?" Haru nodded and continued. "I only remember parts of that night. He carried me to the room, that box it was out next to the bed. I remember saying no and pushing him away. He tied me to the bed and-" He cracked. "Stop." I had too. "You don't have to say anymore." I got up and crawled over to him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered before holding him. I could already tell he was surprised when he flinched. He buried his face into my shoulder and grabbed my shirt holding me back. When we parted he took a deep breath. "After… that night, I was scared. He knew I was getting scared and got angry with me more and more every day. Until he kept me in the house, he locked me in our room. I finally got out and caught me, hurting me, choking me. I broke free and hit him that got him down for a bit while I got some stuff and ran out." So that's how he got here. I sighed. "So… what do you want to do?" He shrugged. "I was hoping, that I could stay here… for a while." He glanced at me. I blushed a bit. He's too cute. I laugh.

"Of course, you can stay here as long as we want. But there's only one problem." I blush. "We both have to sleep in the same bed." Haru blushed a bit before asking, "Why?"

"Well, my couch is extremely uncomfortable and my bed is big enough for the both of us." I laughed. "It won't be the same as when we got that hotel." Haru smiled. We both got up, it was already past 12. "Shall we sleep?" He nodded and we got in bed.

He was surprisingly close to me that night, when my back was facing him he lightly grabbed my shirt in his sleep. He probably feels alone even though I'm right next to him.

The next morning I woke up with his face a little too close to mines. I jumped back a bit. The sunlight was peeking through the window, glowing on his skin. He looked so refreshed, this was probably the best sleep he's had in awhile. I sat up on my side and rested my head on my hand to look at him. Watching his chest rise and fall slowly. His eyelashes were pretty long for a guy. I knew this was bad for me, I knew it.

And yet, I let it happen…

I'm falling in love with Haru.

 _ **Again.**_

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 _ **Hello, I hoped you enjoyed this weeks chapter. I was on a vacation trip to NC these last 3 days so I couldn't do much drawing, but I did the cover before I left. So the visuals for chapter 1 and 2 should be up before Chapter 3 (next Monday)**_

 _ **Have an awesome week!**_


	3. Chapter 3

After that day, I let Haru get himself comfortable around the area. He's in a different country, it's _different_. After a while he asked me to help him get a job, he didn't want to feel like a burden. I didn't want him working, so I signed him up for cooking classes. To keep him busy. At first, he didn't seem excited about them but almost every day when he comes home he tells me not to cook so he can make the recipes he learned that day. He's pretty cute when he gets excited about things.

"Rin, can you pass me the salt?" Today he said I could help him in the kitchen. This room is basically his now, he rearranged it and everything. I don't mind, as long as he's smiling.

"What are you making today?" I asked passing him what he needed. He grabbed it and sprinkled a bit in the pan. "It's a secret." He whispered before going into the fridge. It's been a month already and something had been bothering me. He hasn't called Makoto about where he's been. I glance at him smelling the food.

I always mention it to him but he just brushes it off. I would be worried if I was Makoto. Why am I thinking so much of him anyway? I should hate him, the one who hurt the person I love. Maybe it's because of how long I knew Makoto, I'm still in shock to this day. I don't know, I don't question my feelings too much. But since it's been a month we have to call him.

"It's almost done, so go sit down." I nodded and went into the living and sat on the couch. It was only a few minutes until Haru came in with two plates, he gently placed them down in front of me and I smiled. He made curry, my favorite food.

"Haru-"

"It's a thank you." He sat down next to me not looking at me. "Thanks…" I chuckled at his shyness. I couldn't help but smile the whole meal. We chatted and ate, cleaned the dishes and started to relax on the couch. I had my phone in my hand.

"Are you ready?" Haru was almost pouting at me. He shook his head no. I pressed call.

"…"

"…"

".. Hello?"

"Makoto! It's me, Rin."

"Oh, uh, hey Rin."

"Um, I just wanted to call you to let you know that Haru is here with me." There was a silence before he responded.

"W-What? Haru is there with you? In Australia?"

"Yes. He's ok. He's going to stay here for a while." I could hear Makoto sigh over the phone. "C-Can I talk to him?" He seemed nervous. I looked at Haru. I mouthed, "He wants to talk to you." His face tightens, and then I said, "I'll be here." He stared at me before reaching his hand out. "Hold up, Makoto." I give Haru the phone.

"Hello?... Yes… I'm fine… I know…" He was quiet for a while. "What?" He responded with some alertness, and then he got up and gave me a "hold on" gesture and went into my room.

What is this? Suddenly this feeling overpowers me inside. My hands form a fist. Why do I feel so bad, angry? I curled up on the couch and hugged my knees. I don't like this. I got up and slowly, quietly walked to my door to listen. Faintly, just faintly I heard Haru.

"Makoto, how dare you think that? How could you think I'm here to get with Rin? ... He is my friend! He is the only one I trust now, thanks to you! ... You hurt me, Makoto and I will never forgive you for that." I heard the phone click and ran back into the living room. Almost sweating I look at Haru nervously as he comes from the room. He threw himself on the couch right next to me.

Then, oh then… he rested his head on my shoulder and sighed. My first reaction was jumpy and I know my face was red, but then I knew I needed to calm down. _Yeah sure, you aren't here to get with Rin but you sure are here to give him all the wrong signs._ I broke the silence.

"So… how did that go?" He rubbed his face on my shoulder shaking his head no. I smiled. My heart can't take this much cuteness. "You want to sleep now?" _I love you._ I wanted to say that so bad. I want to kiss him so bad. We both fell fast asleep.

The next morning I was up before Haru, I got a phone call, from someone important. I was so excited to wake up Haru and tell him that I couldn't wait anymore. I power walked into my room and he was sleeping soundly until I jumped on the bed.

"HA-RU-CHAN! Wake up!" I was jumping continuously shouting his name. He was groaning and moving back and forth. "What? WHAT?" He shot up and I fell back hitting the floor. I was laughing uncontrollably, "I got in!" He looked at me in question.

"I got in the police academy back in Japan!"

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HEY GUYS! I had this chapter just sitting here so I said, why not post earlier? I hope you enjoyed this, things are starting to pick up now! I love the few reviews I got, they motivate me! Thank you and have a great week and an awesome 4th of July!


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, sorry I wasn't able to post on Monday... I went to SC for the weekend and came back Sunday night and I got terribly sick, I wrote pieces of this chapter while to some moments I was well enough to write. Like now, my headache went away so I use this time to finish up this chapter and post it. Hopefully, I get better soon. Don't worry I will still post this Monday as well. And as far was the visuals I said I was going to do, I've been really busy lately for some reason, I don't have a job nor do I got to school. I went to SC twice in these last 3 weeks. (The reason I'm sick.) But hopefully, my schedule clears up I have some free time!

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"What? Really?" His face brightens just like mines. He seemed more excited than I am. A while ago I was thinking about getting a profession, besides swimming. I was starting to get bored out of it, I still love it but I like swimming for fun now, just like Haru. And I thought why not be a police officer? Although Haru was against it at first because it was a dangerous job but I guess he saw how excited I was and trusted me.

"Yes! They just called me and I start next week! We can look for an apartment together and you can finally get your own room!" I laugh. Haru was smiling but then he stopped and looked away. I got up from the floor and sat on the bed in front of him.

"What's wrong?" I was searching for his eyes while he was strongly looking away.

"That means, we're going back _there…_ " I stopped to think about what he meant. That's right, _**he's**_ there… I grabbed his face to turn it to me. "Listen, we aren't going back there for him. We are going to live far away from him and I'm going to be with you. I'll be by your side until the end, Haruka." I found his eyes again but they were watery. Soon enough he threw his arms around my neck and buried his face into my shoulder. I was so surprised. All I could do was hug him back and calm down his sobbing. I've never seen him like this… Makoto did all of this.

This is starting to make me hate him.

The next couple of days we packed and got an apartment. The plane ride was not so long but long enough for Haru to start having second thoughts and I had to calm him down. He's really afraid to bump into him again. I have to be with him all the time until he gets use to it again.

I don't mind it though, being around Haru. Y'know since I love him and all. But that's a secret between me and you.

I glanced at Haru, his looks are filled with anxiety. We are now waiting for our ride. "Haru, we are almost there, okay?" I look away and blushed as I reached out for his hand. I felt him jump a little, he was shaking but he held mines back.

We got into our cab. The ride was pretty long, I decided to live in Chiba… Near the ocean. It's not too far from the city, which is where I need to be for work. I want Haru to be somewhere peaceful and quiet. The Isumi District is pretty nice.

"Hgn, this is going to be annoying." I rested my hands on my hips looking at all the boxes we have to unpack. Haru was checking out the kitchen of course. We have a two floor home next to the beach. Not to brag or anything it's pretty damn nice! "No one told you to have all this stuff." Haru came into the hallway.

"I just can't throw out all of my metals." I laugh and walk into the living room. "Go pick a room Haru." I smile at him, his face almost lights up as he heads upstairs. I follow after him. He looks at the first room and then the second he stopped and looked at me.

"This is your room." He said and I look at him weird and walk into the room. The first thing you see is a huge window near the bed showing the ocean. I slowly walk to the window in awe. It's amazing… I look back at him in concern. "Haru, I said you pick a room…" He turned around and left, "I did." I sighed and laughed. _He's **so** cute_.

"You ready?" I have to go into the city to file some paperwork for my job. Haru didn't wanna stay alone so he's coming with me. He nodded and we headed out.

Oh, how I don't miss the city. It's so loud and active. Haru stood close to me most of the way. It wasn't long they were pretty excited to see me really. Some of them mentioned watching the World Series and seeing me and Haru in it. We got out only after an hour.

"You wanna walk around?" I looked at him. I don't wanna push things. It's been a long day, to be honest. He thought about it for a minute and nodded. "Sure." We went to a couple of stores. We weren't meaning to shop but we did so. We needed things for the house anyway.

We were starting to head back until someone stopped me, calling my name out from behind us. We both looked back and it was Kisumi.

"Rin? Haru? It's been so long!" He was all smiles and waving at us. I was surprised as well I looked at Haru and he didn't look like he wanted to be social right now.

"Wait here." I gave him a hand gesture and went over to Kisumi.

This is where things started to go left.

The last thing I remember was Makoto on the floor with a bloody nose…

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I hope you guys enjoyed! Things are starting to pick up now! Please leave me reviews! I love reading them! They make me smile! Thank you! And have an amazing day!


	5. Chapter 5

_I hate how sociable Kisumi is…_ I was watching Rin and Kisumi talk from a distance, holding all of our bags. I shouldn't be so annoyed, I came out here knowing where we were going. Knowing that Kisumi's college is in Tokyo, the same college Makoto goes to. I knew that and yet I'm here with Rin. I guess I feel safer with Rin. I always remember the time when Rin and I were younger and we went to the Swim Club. There was a kid bullying me because I was on the top of the club. I kept quiet about it cause I didn't want to start a problem. I accidently told Rin about it and he was so enraged when I told him he went straight for the kid and beat him to a pulp. They both got suspended for 2 weeks. Coach let Rin come back after 1 week after knowing what was really happening.

I forget Kisumi and Rin got close after high school during the summer before Rin left. That's why they are really having a conversation. Watching Rin smile and laugh with him makes me feel weird.

"H-Haru?" My feet got cold and I stopped breathing at the sound of _his_ voice. I can't really remember much after that but it seems I remember more than Rin. I slowly turned around and saw him, Makoto. He looked out of breath as if he saw me in a distance and came running. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move, my legs were shaking.

"Haru! When did you get back?" He was coming closer to me. He looked so relieved to see me. Why? Why do you look so happy? "You look like you're doing better, Haru."

 _Stop saying my name… Rin…_ _ **help me**_ …

"Haru," He grabbed my arm. "I want to talk to you."

"Rin!" I shouted really loud and turned my face to him.

His face was pale, sweating, terrified. I honestly don't really know what happened, but I was talking to Kisumi when Haru yelled my name. All I saw was Makoto grabbing him and I just took off. I don't know where he came from or _what_ he was _telling_ Haru or what he was _doing_ … but he was there and that made me angry. It made me angry because I _promised_ Haru he wouldn't see him again, I _promised_ him I'd protect him and be there at all times. I failed. _I_ _ **failed**_ _him_.

"Rin? Are you awake?" I woke up in our new living room, in our apartment. Haru was next to me kneeling against the couch. How did we get home? I had a wet cloth on my head. "What happened?" I sat up slowly looking around and then to Haru.

"You punched Makoto…" Haru laughed. "Why are you laughing?" He looked at me and blushed. "It something that I wanted to do for so long and you… you just did it!" He got up and sat next to me. "Thank you, for saving me back there." He leaned on my back. Why does he do things like this? It's so cute, I can't.

"But, what happened? You blacked out after and Kisumi called a cab for Makoto and he drove us back home. Why did you blackout?" I looked at me, I turned to look at him. So that's what happened. I laugh and look away, "I tend to blackout during high stimulating events." This was so embarrassing. I felt two hands hug me from behind and Haru's face on my back. "W-What…"

"I don't know, I just feel like doing it." I couldn't stop smiling, this… this is enough for me. Just being around him makes me happy.

But of course, all of my happiness comes to an end. Haru handed me his phone, showing me a text, from Makoto.

/Haru… I'm so sorry for grabbing you like that. I was just so shocked to see you that I didn't want to let you go. Tell Rin I'm sorry too, I don't blame him for punching me, I would've too. Are you back? Or just visiting? Either way, I want to meet up with you. I want to talk to you in person. Rin can come if you feel unsafe around me, I don't mind. Please let me know whenever you are free.\

My heart sunk, everything inside me felt gloomy, I felt uneasy. "D-Do you want to go?"

"Only if you come." He answered me quickly, seems like he's been thinking about this for a while now. I can't say no, I can never say no to Haru. "Okay, sure. I'm free this weekend…" I felt him nod on my back. I harshly get up Haru almost fell forward. "What's wrong?"

I scratch my head, "I'm going to shower and go to bed, I'm pretty tired." I look at him, he looks confused. I leave the room and to the bathroom.

I couldn't sleep after that, I was in my bed looking at my ceiling. All kinds of thoughts were running through my mind, but one stuck out the most. What if Haru is slowly leaning back to him. It's obvious Makoto has changed. What if he's trying to get him back.

I saw my door slowly open from the corner of my eye, it was Haru. He looked nervous and cute, only because the way he was peeking through the corner. "Haru?"

He came in and slowly closed the door, I sat up. "Haru?" He walked towards my bed. "W-What's up?" What is he doing?

"Move over." Huh?

"Why?"

"I can't sleep." He looked away blushing. I can't. He's just too perfect. I moved over and he got in the bed. He got comfortable and closed his eyes. I guess I should just go with the flow? I turned my back to him on my side. Then I felt him snuggle his head on my back.

"I'm too use to sleeping with you, my bed felt cold…"

That's all he said and fell asleep against me. I can't imagine how hard I was blushing. For some reason, I felt tired and fell asleep right after…

 _If things just stay like this, it'd be enough..._

 _ **Even if he does go back with Makoto.**_

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A little late with this, but it's still Monday! Things are starting to get back to normal this week, I've never been this busy before for 4 straight weeks in my life!

But I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!


	6. Chapter 6

That week ended rather quickly. The weekend coming fast. I knew I was in a foul mood the whole week, even Haru was getting fed up with me a bit. But that didn't stop him from sleeping in my bed every night. I can't do anything about it. How am I supposed to feel? You came crying to me to get you away from Makoto! And now you are going to meet up with him? Even though I'm coming, it still feels so wrong.

"Are you ready?" Haru came into my room, he had his coat on, ready to go. "Uh, yeah just looking for my keys." I was searching everywhere for them.

"I have mines, so it's okay." I sighed and put my coat on and followed him out. It's pretty cold out now. I need to buy a new coat, mines pretty light. "Haru, do you know how to get there."

"Yeah, I've gone there before with him." Ugh, this is so annoying. I hate this. Every step we took, I felt sicker. Haru was rather quiet, but he's always like that. I should say I'm rather quiet.

"We're here." I look up and it's a hotel. I feel sick. "There's a lounge with light snacks and drinks open to the public." Haru looked back at me. "Well, I bet he's already inside, are you ready?" I looked at him.

"Are _**you**_ ready?" I asked back. He stared at me and turned away. He walked inside and I followed after. Slowly from a distance, I see Makoto already sitting at a table with drink cups of water on the table. He looked rather nervous. It wasn't long until he spotted us, he got frantic and got up quickly to greet us.

"Haruka!" He reached his hand out but quickly pulled it back, I guess he doesn't feel like he should be touching Haru. _He shouldn't be._ He looked behind Haru and to me.

"Rin!" I waved awkwardly. I don't know how to act around him yet to be honest. Haru didn't say anything to him at all. We both sat down across from him. I moved my chair a bit back. No matter how you look at it, this really isn't my business. But I can still hear their conversation.

"H-Haru, how have you been?"

"The same…" Haru looked away, and then he finally looked at Makoto for the first time, "What about you?"

 **Is he interested in this assholes life?**

 _Whoa._ Calm down Rin. This isn't about you. I got up quickly. "I'm going to get some water!" I left as soon as I could. I need to get out of here for a bit.

'R-Rin…" I heard Haru from a distance. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I feel terrible, I want to go home. I left the bathroom and passed by a vending machine. That's right, I said I was getting water. It'd be stupid if I came back without some.

I started walking back…

"Haru, I'm sorry." I stopped. "I'm so sorry for hurting you. I- I was obsessed with you. I never wanted you to leave my side. Since it was always like that. We were always together. Even when we were together, I'd miss you. I was messed up back then." _**Stop.**_ "But I got help. I went to counseling as soon as you left. My way of thinking has changed. I.. I miss you… Haruka." Haru jolted. "I've changed, for the better! I love you. I want you back!"

I can't move.

"Can we try again? Do you still love me?" He saw me, Haru saw me. Why are you looking at me? He looks scared. Come, _**come**_ to me. Ask me to take you away. But he turned away and looked at Makoto. What are you doing?

"Makoto.." _**What are you doing?**_

"I..I still-" I dropped my bottle. **He still loves him.** Haru looked at me. "R-Rin?" He got up.

"Rin what's wrong?" I was breathing heavily. Panting, sweating. I took a step backwards and turned around and ran, like a coward. I ran out the hotel and across the street. I can't see… I can't breathe, I'm going to black out again. I stopped to catch my breath.

"Rin!" I look over to see Haru running after me. Please go away. He caught up and stopped to catch his breath. "Rin.. what happened?" He was staring at me. It was burning.

"Are you okay? Do you need water?"

"You still love him don't you?" He was a little shocked I said that.

"What?"

"Why else would you hesitate? If you didn't you wouldn't have looked at me and you would've said no! Why? Why would you still love him?"

"R-Rin, I-"

"He hurt you! He abused you!"

"Why are you so worked up about this Rin?"

" **Because I love you!** "

I gasped. We both gasped. Did I just?

"Rin…"

"I- I'm sorry. That was… I.." I sighed. I picked up my bag and turned away. "Go home. It'd be best if you didn't see me for a while."

"Rin! Where are you going to go?" He reached out and I moved away. "A hotel or something. Just go home…"

I knew as I walked away Haru just stood there watching me.

 _I fucked up._

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Hey, guys! I posted visuals for chapters 1-4! I hope you like them! The visuals for chapters 5-7 will be up by next Monday! They are on my DeviantArt at acrylicaswater!

Also, leave reviews! I like hearing your responses and reactions!


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry, I'm a day late! I lost track of time!

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Hotel beds suck. They're meant for two people, that's why they are always so big. I was laying down in this hotel I found. After all these bottles, I can't help but think about what happened. I can't believe I said that I'm sure Makoto heard that too. I didn't mean to say that. This wasn't about me! Haru must be confused, disgusted. I was his last resort and now I ruined it. He's probably alone right now. I fucked up really bad…

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 _I miss him_ … I miss Rin. It's only been 3 days and I can't stop thinking about him. Ever since he said that…

" _ **Because I love you!"**_

I never… that's a lie. I should've known. I knew Rin liked me in the past. Makoto told me that Rin let Makoto have me. But I didn't know he still had these feelings for me. I haven't left his room since. His bed is so empty without him, I miss feeling his warmth next to me. I grab the sheets where his spot is. It's cold… Rin when are you coming back? I started circling that spot with my finger.

But when he does come back, what do I want? Do I want to talk? Or do I want things to go back to normal? But wouldn't that him Rin more? I don't know. I just want him back. I miss him… I miss him so much, his jokes, his laugh, his beautiful eyelashes, his sleeping face.

"I love him."

I stopped circling my finger at what I just said. The first thought that came to my head, was I had to tell Rin. I got up and put my clothes on. But where is he at? I sat on the bed and looked at my phone. I dialed his number and let it ring… I was nervous but why?

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"It's Haru…" I watched my phone ring. I sighed and pressed END. I shouldn't...

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"Why isn't he picking up?" He probably feels so bad. But I want to tell him. I have an idea…

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I wonder how long I can lay here lifeless… I want to see Haru again. I miss him terribly. I felt my phone buzz. It's Haru again. I looked at my phone, but it was a different name. Nagisa? I picked up the phone.

"Rin Rin!"

"N-Nagisa? What's wrong?"

"It's Haru… he's..." _What?_

"What do you mean? What's wrong with Haru?"

"I came over to give you guys a housewarming gift, but your door was unlocked and Haru was on the floor! He's not breathing Rin!" No…

"I-I I'm coming right now! Stay with him!" I hung up the phone and grabbed all my stuff and ran out the hotel as fast as I could. If something happens to him… I couldn't live on.

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Sorry this chapter was so short! I was rushing to finish it! But next chapter will make it up for sure! Aren't you guys excited? I sure am!


	8. Chapter 8

Hey, guys, sorry for this super late updated, I was away for a medical trip. It hasn't been my week. Both my hamsters died and my boyfriend got arrested and I haven't spoken to him since.

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I busted the door wide open panting, I could barely get my eyesight clear. But I saw him standing in front of me.

"H-Haru?" I'm confused. I thought he collapsed. Where's Nagisa? "R-Rin. Calm down first." What the hell?

"Wait…" I couldn't catch my breath. Haru started to panic and ran to the kitchen and came back with water. "Here." I don't know what's happening but I grabbed it. He was watching me very closely. I blushed a little and moved back. "Haru, what's going on?" He looked away, his face was red. He looked like he was struggling.

He finally looked at me and walked towards me. He placed his hands on my chest and buried his face in my shirt. What? "Me too…" That's all I heard. 'Me too' what? "Haru, what are you talking about?" I grabbed his shoulders attempting to move him back to see his face, but he had a strong grip. "Come on Haru. Tell me." He swung his head up to me, grabbed me face…

...and oh god he did it… he kissed me. It was rather a rough kiss, not what I imagined our first kiss to be like if it ever happened. But I couldn't hold back, I kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I grabbed his waist. He had an opened button shirt, but nothing under it, along with his swimming shorts. I needed to touch his skin, my mind was foggy by then. I snaked my way from his back to his stomach and up to his chest. I only lightly brushed by his nipple, which made him moan and breaks away from the kiss. "Ah, Rin…" My mind snapped and I came back to reality, I quickly pushed his away. "I… I didn't mean to do that. I-I'm sorry." I started looking around for my bag to leave but realized I didn't bring one. I didn't even hear Haru calling my name over and over.

"Rin!" I stopped. I can't breathe again. He walked closer to me. "I'm the one who kissed you." That's right… but why?

"Why…?" He got flustered a bit. "Because… I feel the same way…" He barely murmured that but I still heard it.

"You said it right? Back there, you said that you love me." He looked at me with a serious face. I can't hide it now. "Yes."

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes."

He looked relieved for some reason. "Me too." I knew what he was saying, and I couldn't calm down the bright feelings in my stomach, but I need him to say it. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean!" I took a step closer to him. "No, I actually don't." His face was beat red now. He's so cute. "Rin… stop teasing me." I can't, he's too much. "I want to hear you say it, I won't believe you until you say it." I was already in front of him when I said that. He seems impatient. Part of me wants to kiss him so badly, part of me wants to tease him. I grabbed his chin and led him to me. He closed his eyes ready for the kiss, but I stopped. He raised his eyebrow and slowly opened his eyes back open. "W-What?" I smirked a bit, "Say it." He pouted really quick before forcing a kiss in making me trip backward, falling with him on top. Licking my lips for an entrance he fixed himself and straddled on top of me. Fuck it. I grabbed his hips and rubbed them against me, making him moan. With our tongues twirling around, the sounds around the room, us both getting hard, I have to be careful. This could get dangerous for the both of us. I don't know his limits and I could pass out any minute now. Little did I know Haru's hand was behind him, fingering himself. He broke off the kiss, panting.

"Ah… uh, Rin…" He was pushing his fingering deep inside himself, watching all of this… I'm surprised I haven't got a nose bleed yet. I was so turned on by Haru wanting this… wanting me. But behind the fog in my head something is telling me, isn't this too sudden? Those thoughts broke off when Haru gripped on my dick. When did he unbutton my pants?

"It's so big…" Haru breathed. He leaned down and licked the tip. "H-Haru wait!" I grabbed his head and he looked up at me in question. "What's wrong?" I sat up and caught my breath. "Haru, I wanted this for so long… but you…" I looked away. "Are you forcing yourself?" He stared at me for a bit. He grabbed my hand and put it on his dick. "Does it look like I'm forcing myself?" I blushed. "Rin, I love you. I never realized it but I do, I really do. I like being around you, sleeping next to you, looking at you, hearing you laugh." I can't believe what I'm hearing.

I leaned in and kissed him. I slid my tongue in, I'm not holding back anymore. I decided to move the hand that was already on his dick. He moaned and tried to push away but I held him close to me. He managed to break free, "Rin… wait…"

"Haruka." He looked at me in surprise.

"Let me make love to you."

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You'll get the next chapter by today or tomorrow, I'm not sure yet. But I hope you enjoyed it!


	9. Chapter 9

Whoa! Sorry for the late update, it was honestly me being clumsy. I totally forgot to update!

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"Can I make love to you, Haruka?" We couldn't take our eyes off each other. His eyes were full of lust and passionate. He wrapped his arms around my neck and whispered,

" _Please._ "

I picked him up and headed upstairs, trying not to fall over. I can't see or hear anything but Haruka. I went to the first room closest to us, but Haru stopped me.

"Your room." He demanded me. I nodded and went into my room. I threw him on the bed and looked at his face, he looked so helpless. He looked at my shirt. "I'm sorry." I looked down at my shirt, he was rubbing himself on my shirt. So he's like this when he's sexual. "You made it dirty…" I climbed over him. "You need to be punished." I reached over to my desk and grabbed a rubber band. He didn't say anything but nod. I tied the band around the bottom of his head. He whined a bit before moaning more. I licked his neck and made my way down to his nipples. They're so pink and perky. I started to lick and suck both of them.

"Rin… hurry… I can't wait anymore." I nodded and positioned myself in front of him.

At this point, I can't see or hear anything but muffles.

I can see Haru. He's screaming my name, gripping me. Am I moving?

Is that blood?

Black.

I woke up with a massive headache. The sun was hitting me hard in my face. What time is it? I looked over at my clock. It's 1:24 PM. I slowly get up. I looked over to my side, Haru isn't here, but I hear the shower. I get up and go to the bathroom.

"Haru?" I heard a gasp. "R-Rin?" I probably scared him. "Uh, yesterday… I don't really remember much, but I don't remember blood, are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

He hesitated before answering me. "No, you didn't. Y-You got a nose bleed. I guess you were too hyped up." Oh, so that's what that was. "Oh, that's good to know." Now that I'm really looking I don't see his silhouette through the shower, but it's on the floor. Is he crouching?

"Haru, are you okay?" I stepped closer to the shower. "Y-Yes! I-I'm fine." I heard a sniff after that. He's not okay. I grabbed the shower curtain and flew it open. Haru turned to me terrified. There was blood in the water, he was crying kneeling down, trembling. I took a step back.

"What happened last night?" My voice was a bit low and dark. I couldn't shake the feeling off that something bad happened. I don't remember anything.

He was shaking so much, "I-I'm sorry." I kneeled down and turned off the water. "What happened?" He looked away.

"I forced myself." What? "I… I didn't want it, I didn't wanna have sex with you so soon…" My feet turned cold. "Then, why?" He shook his head. "I don't know! I… I knew you wanted this, I knew you were starting to pass out and hallucinate, so I took advantage of that so you'd forget that I was bleeding and crying."

I raped him. I couldn't move again. He placed his cold hands on my cheeks. "No, you didn't." I blinked. "How-"

"I've known you long enough to learn a few things about you, and you definitely jump into conclusions." His hands fell on my shoulders, "You didn't rape me. I love you, I wanted this but not now." I want to hold him, but now I'm scared.

"Haruka, what do you want me to do?" I looked at him. "Treat me like how Rin would. Comfort me during my hardest times, laugh when I'm sad, crying when you miss me, hold me when I need help."

He looked at me, "And when I think about him, make me look at you."

"Haruka, I'm scared. I'm scared cause I don't know your limits. Haruka, I'm just as dysfunctional as you are!"

"That's why I'm going to support you when you need me! And you'll do the same! I'll hold you when you need me, I'll kiss you when you're lonely, Rin I love you. I want this to work out!"

"C-Can I hold you?" He nodded and smiled. He wrapped his arms around me and I wrapped mines around him. I held him so tight.

"I don't want to lose you Haruka, I don't."

"And you won't."

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I'm hitting a rock now. I'm stuck trying to remember the rest of the story. I lost my script a while ago. So I would sadly say that I will be taking a break from this story. I'm really glad I got this far, to be honest with you. Thank you for everyone who has been reading and enjoying this as much as I have. I want to give this a proper ending but it'll take me some time!

Thank you again!

Until Next Time!


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